01 May Do You Really Mean It?
I had an interesting realization the other day when having lunch with a friend and I shared a picture of another friend with her new boyfriend. It was obvious by their huge, silly grins in the picture how happy they are in this relationship and I communicated how happy I was that my friend had found such a great guy who clearly was bonkers for her. She was absolutely glowing in the picture. My lunch friend looked at me and said “you really are happy for her aren’t you”? And I really was. What gave me pause to ponder was when my friend said that often her friends aren’t happy for the other person, instead they are unhappy that it isn’t them.
So when someone in your life experiences happiness and you say to them “I’m so happy for you” do you really mean it? Let’s be honest, we can usually tell whether someone is truly happy for us, so who do we think we are kidding if we say it but don’t mean it?
The main person we are NOT kidding is ourselves. It doesn’t matter what comes out of our mouth, what counts is the story that is going on inside our heads. If I am constantly jealous of other people’s happiness how happy do you think I will be? Exactly! However if I choose to feel joy for them in that moment I too will experience joy AND I am putting all of those good feelings out into the world and we know that like attracts like so I am creating an environment to attract the same joy into my life.
I will certainly be checking in on my thoughts and trust me, when I tell you that I am happy for you, I will mean it with all my heart. Be happy for those in your life and watch your joy factor increase. Remember happiness is an inside job!
-Barb